Check out these delicious, Shout-Worthy Vegan Sheet Cakes, along with instructions on sheet caking, aka taking your stress-eating protest fest to another level.
We’re all doing our best, resisting the orange blob of terribleness, like the Nothing from Never Ending Story, eating up our bandwidth. There’s been a lot of food metaphors used in our current political environment, like nothing burgers and you-know-what sandwiches, but nothing really inspiring. Maybe that’s why Tina Fey suggested another flavor for the resisters and I’m here to tell you, it’s SWEET! The notion of Sheet Caking, as Tina described it, can be more than just resistance, it can take on an environmental twist as well. There’s more on sheet caking below. And you’ll also find my favorite Shout-worthy Vegan Sheet Cakes for your current and future sheet caking needs.
Have at it!
Tina Fey appeared on Saturday Night Live’s (SNL) Weekend Update and went on a huge rant about our current political environment. In the middle of it all she said this, “I know a lot of us are feeling anxious and asking ourselves, ‘What can I do…I’m just one person…so what can I do?'”.
Has that thought crossed your mind lately? I know it has for me. Sure we can rally, hold signs, and retweet Adam Schiff, but what do we do when the dark, bleak, and hopelessness begins to settle in? J.K. Rowling suggests eating dark chocolate to ward off heavy, incapacitating thoughts in the aftermath of a dementor attack.
Tina is suggesting a sweet resistance of her own. When things are dark and dreary there are things that you can do and Tina’s recommendation is what she calls Sheet Caking. More on that in a moment.
My favorite advice for resisting? I’ve been thinking about it a long time. And my answer is: Go vegan. Why?
- For every regulation they pull back protecting our rivers from coal sludge!
- Or how about that pipeline, constructed through Indian sacred lands and possibly leaking even more sludge on our soil
- And let’s make note of every rule canceled that required reporting of emissions, thereby costing us precious protections for our lungs and our environemnt
- For every acre of public land (aka national parks) given up by this current administration (2017) to decimate it in exploring for oil
- For every insecticide previously banned because of health and environment risks, for which that ban has now been lifted
- For every grizzly bear and wolf hunted and shot down (even on protected reserves) thanks to a regulation signed by this administration
- For every government regulation that no longer requires a greenhouse gas emissions and climate impact analysis as part of its environmental impact review
- For every toxic discharge (gross!) that power plants can new spew into public waterways thanks to an executive order signed by this administration.
Going vegan has a big impact on the environment. So, just think of it as you giving a great big middle finger to all of the above…and more! Because according to the NY Times there are 23 Environmental Rules Rolled back by this administration. Your personal resistance, by going vegan, is a perfect reaction to all of it.
Also, if you’re not into going whole hog vegan (pardon the pun), but you’d like to make an impact on the environment with a 80-90% equivalent diet, I have an idea for you. I recently talked with Diana Fleischmann who describes tweaks you can make to your current diet that can make a big impact on the environment and animal suffering too.
Cake or Death!
(aka…Tips for Proper Sheet Caking)
Infamously and possibly falsely attributed to Marie Antoinette, “let them eat cake” was actually a statement from an out-of-touch aristocrat about her poor subjects.
Today we’re taking the notion of cake eating to whole ‘nother level. To be sure, we’ve got plenty of reasons to be eating cake. Maybe we could begin with this: as Tina says, for every “white boy in a polo shirt screaming about, ‘taking our country back.'”
Yeah, that’s worthy of a big ol’ hunk of cake right there!
We all know there are myriad of other rules, socially inclined, to be resisting about as well, such as the trans ban in the military. What’s that all about anyway?
And as much as we want to do ALL the resisting — the marching, the calling, the tweeting — sometimes, as Tina explains, we need to do a little sheet caking too.
“Find a local business, maybe a Jewish-run bakery, or maybe an African-American-run bakery, order a cake with an American flag on it, and uh, just eat it.”
My friend Karen watched this clip and was disappointed. She’s not a big fan of the sheet cake. “Too much frosting,” was how she described the cake Tina was tearing into. But Karen definitely liked the intent of the clip. Maybe if it would have been ice cream. And we laughed over the idea of Ice Screaming rather than Sheet Caking.
Whatever your choice, just make sure you’ve got a nice big serving in front of you. This is not a time to be eating mindfully. Because Sheet Caking is all about shocking your brain with sugar-induced, mind-numbing, carbohydrate-loaded, endorphins. That’s right. We’ve found something good about processed sugar.
Sure, it increases insulin that can lead toward weight gain, tooth loss, and disease. But it also comes with a hit of endorphins that can provide a temporary, chemically induced high, otherwise known as a giddy-up to your mood.
We all need a giddy-up about now.
Here are some other tips for proper sheet caking:
- Yell into the cake, it helps
- Once a week is recommended, sometimes more, sometimes less
- No plates are required for sheet caking, only a big, glorious cake and a fork
- It’s best to sheet cake while googling, “Trump Teller”
- For extra stressful days, be sure to dip a Grilled Cheese Sandwich straight into your sheet cake — this works best when you’re chowing down on a sheet cake topped with lots of icing.
Shout-Worthy Vegan Sheet Cakes
So, I’ve made the case for a vegan diet to help out the environment and provided some tips for proper sheet caking. Of course you can support local businesses and order your sheet cake. But you can also make sheet cakes yourself. That’s why today I’m sharing with you some of the best shout-worthy vegan sheet cakes around!
Let’s start with an Vegan American Flag Sheet Cake.
An American Flag Vegan Sheet Cake by Kitchen Treaty? That’s a perfect way to eat away your troubles.
This is a Vegan Texas Sheet Cake I created based on my mom’s recipe. Our thoughts are with the people of Texas and everyone helping them through the hurricane and flooding crisis. ❤️
Although not technically a sheet cake per se, there’s nothing stopping you from baking this carrot cake in a 9 X 13 pan! You can turn this into your very own Vegan Gluten-free Carrot Cake sheet cake by following the recipe on Veggies Don’t Bite.
This Vegan Chai Chocolate Cake will make you want to invite friends over to sheet cake en masse!
I don’t know about you, but I want to sheet cake the heck out of this Peanut Butter Cake with Chocolate Glaze by Vegan Richa!
There’s no reason that your sheet cake adventure can’t take on a fruity tone. Take, for example, this Vegan Lemon Avocado Cake with Blueberries. Getting fruity wid it!
Sheet caking takes on a whole new meaning when you add an orange hue, if you catch my drift. That’s why this Vegan Carrot Cake in sheet cake form from Thyme and Love is perfect!
Does this Vegan Strawberry Cake look a little too dainty to pack a sheet caking punch? Trust me, you can go to town on this cake and drown your frustrations in the most delicious way possible!
Shout-Worthy Vegan Sheet Cakes wouldn’t be complete without this doozy of a recipe from Vegan Sandra. Let your sheet caking pack a fruity punch with this Simple Crumb Cake with Apple Jam. Don’t worry, it’s healthy, but will still serve it’s purpose.
All you serious sheet cakers? I need you to meet my little Vegan Chunky Monkey Cake friend. This is our absolutely favorite go-to cake. I make it for guests, for family, and even for myself..when I’m needing a sheet cake fix. Yah. You know it!
Now we’re spicing things up with this Vegan Chocolate Cake with Ginger from Fried Dandelions.
Creating a vegan sheet cake doesn’t have to be hard. That’s why you might want to check out my Vegan Pineapple Red Velvet Sheet Cake. It’s so easy to make and so delicious to dig your fork into. Or, you know, maybe skip the fork altogether and just face plant into this baby!
Your sheet cake doesn’t have to be complicated. Check out this One Bowl Chocolate Chip Cake recipe via Fried Dandelions.
Sheet Caking in the fall requires a little bit of pumpkin. That’s why this Vegan Pumpkin Spice Sheet Cake is perfect for the holidays. While you’re at it, why not hope for someone to resign or be forced out of office before the holidays. Hmm, wouldn’t that be nice. I hope that’s not the sugar talking…
Hey, getting in your sheet cake time doesn’t have to mean giving up on your favorite jeans. I think someone else said it better: you can have your cake and eat it too. here’s proof. Check out this Vegan Kale and Blood Orange cake via Veggie Desserts. Bring it on!
Hey, this list of Shout-Worthy Vegan Sheet Cakes needs this Vegan Cinnamon Roll Poke Cake recipe, for sure. It’s another super easy recipe that will get your sweet, endorphin rush going in no time!
Oh, Kathy from the Healthy Happy Life knows how to get her sheet cake on! There’s nothing like this Vegan Gooey Butter Sheet Cake to burry your frustrations in!
Finally, why not get your sheet caking started earlier in the day with this Vegan Cinnamon Coffee Cake. Because some days require a sheet cake before 8 am. It’s true. There’s no denying it.
That’s it. You’ve arrived at the end of this sheet caking instructional guide. I hope you’ve enjoyed these Shout-Worthy Vegan Sheet Cakes recipes. And I hope this helps you through the rough days still ahead…and the celebration when it’s finally over!